Monday, July 26, 2004

"This is the first day... of my last days"

..Well the first day of my new job anyways.

Today was induction day. Me and eleven (only 2 of whom would be working on the same project...) other newbies were sat in a room and had an array of people attack us with powerpoint slides. And The company HR squad dazzled us with their professionalism. we all got funky 'induction' folders. ( aside: I always think induction sounds way too much like Injection for my liking).

We had everything from useful stuff like how to fill out your timesheets to standard stuff like their various policies(holidays, disciplinary procesdures and stuff) to absolutely useless stuff like what the company branding is (their font and layout for presentations and stuff.).

Todays blog entry is brought to you by the word stuff. Apparently.

Anyhow its great we learned all about the great perks and stuff. they got insurance, assurance, shares,pensions, credit cards, cheap travel,masseuse, laundry service and even a service where you order a meal and they give you a home cooked meal to take home with you and pretend you're a great chef to all your friends..

At lunch we were assigned to some folks we would be working with. This was the bit where you found out what you would be doing over the next while. I found out I would most likely be working on a forestry project. but not tomorrow or the day after. in fact the guy I talked to seemed to think I would know when I was starting. So 4 o clock rolled around and I still didn't know who I was working for or where I'd be doing it. ( My situation was further confused by the fact that I had been called last wednesday to inform me I would be working on an insurance project.)

Turns out the person who's job it is to schedule us newbies work is away today so I won't find out till tomorrow. In the mean time I've been told to commandeer a desk and wait and see. Yipes. Still I'm not as bad as the guy who found out today that he is going to manila tomorrow!
he didn't know where exactly he'd be working either.

To top it all off I wasn't feeling the best. Very hard to pretend to be listening to the recommended colours to use in presentations when your stomach is doing cartwheels.

Still thats the worst bit done (maybe) . I'll feel better once I get my hands dirty.


Anonymous said...

Cartwheels? Mnah!
I can sympathise, mine feels like it was in that bloody kung-fu movie! =(

My last clear memory from last night involves storming round the back streets of Dublin chanting 'Meat Hunt' and growling at garbage cans.

Expensive wheat beers in the Porterhouse: €5 a pop
Cheap red wine: Free (Cheers Bronos!)
The look on the McZombies face as we
charged the counter yelling 'Meat Hunt!!!' : Priceless


Anonymous said...

You gotta watch them garbage cans. Don't take no face from them!

That chops socky thing is wicked. There are two perticularily nasty really fast kicks that just make you go ouch. ones like a really sudden axe kick that just drops the guy in one shot and the other is this incredible running kicks thing I can't even describe it.